EVERYONE WANTS TO BE A CHEF

THESE DAYS EVERYONE WANTS TO BE A CHEF. THIS CAN BE ACHIEVED BY ANYONE WITH AVERAGE ABILITY AND INHERITED MONEY. FOR MORE THAN A FEW YEARS WE HAVE SEEN THE PROLIFERATION OF A PHENOMENON KNOWN AS THE CELEBRITY CHEF. A GOOD P.R. PERSON, A FEW WELL PLACED ARTICLES, AND MAYBE A TV SPOT OR TWO ALL CREATE A BUZZ LEADING TO BUBBLE THAT LASTS AS LONG AS YOU CHEW. OH YEH DON'T FORGET TO INVITE AS MANY A LISTS AS YOU CAN. THE HOPE BEING JUST ENOUGH WILL SHOW, GIVING CREDENCE TO YOUR FABRICATED SENSE OF CULINARY EXPERTISE.
WHILE IN THE SEARCH FOR THAT NEW "THING" VERY FEW HAVE BEEN ABLE TO ACHIEVE LONGEVITY. THOSE THAT HAVE THOUGH, GAINED NOTORIETY FROM THE BASIC PRINCIPLES SET FORTH BY THE LIKES OF ESCOFFIE, BOCUSE,PEPIN, ETC. SOME ARE LUCKY ENOUGH TO GET BY ON SHEAR PERSONALITY. GREAT CUISINE IS STILL GREAT CUISINE. WHETHER SIMPLE, ROASTED BONE MARROW W/ CRUSTY COUNTRY BREAD TO MORE COMPLEX CREATIONS THERE IS A REASON THEY HAVE BEEN DONE THIS WAY FOR GENERATIONS, THAT IS THEY ARE DELICIOUS. THE TRUE MARK OF A GREAT CUISINE?, TAKE THE MOST MODEST, HUMBLE, THE PARTS, BITS AND PIECES AND TRANSFORM THEM INTO A WONDROUS CULINARY TREAT.

WHILE WATCHING ROCCO DISPIRITO'S NEW SHOW THE OTHER DAY, WE WERE HORRIFIED. THE PREMISE FOR THE SHOW IS FOR ROCCO TO TEACH AN ORDINARY PERSON OF NO FORMAL TRAINING , TO COOK THE MEAL OF THEIR DREAMS. THIS PARTICULAR CHOICE WAS BEEF WELLINGTON. AFTER RETURNING HOME FROM THE GROCERY STORE ROCCO PROCEEDED TO MAKE THE WELLINGTON. DUXCELLE- FINE, SEAR THE BEEF -FINE, SEASONING -OK, WRAPPING THE BEEF IN PUFF PASTRY - LOOKED LIKE A BAD CALSONE. BUT WAIT , IT GETS BETTER, HE MADE THE SAUCE WITH CAMPBELLS CREAM OF MUSHROOM SOUP. DID HE LEARN THIS FROM SANDRA LEE OR RACHEL RAY? IS HE ( OH DON'T SAY IT, PLEASE ) ANOTHER FIGURE HEAD CHEF DEPENDING SOLELY ON THE TALENT OF THE CREW TO MAKE HIM LOOK GOOD? HERE IS A CULINARY INSTITUTE OF AMERICA GRAD WHO JUST LOST ALL RESPECT GIVEN TO HIM BY HIS PEERS. LET US HOPE THAT FRITZY, METZ, ALMQUIST, OR PAPINI WILL NEVER SEE THIS.

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO TEACHING PEOPLE THE CORRECT WAY OF COOKING? TO TEACH " LA TECHNIQUE" THE BASIC CULINARY FORCES COME INTO PLAY EVERY TIME YOU PICK UP A KNIFE AND CUTTING BOARD. THAT IS HOW COUNTLESS OTHERS AND I LEARNED. THE PROBLEM SEEMS THAT ONCE ON TELEVISION YOU HAVE AN AURA OF RESPECTABILITY, AND A RESPONSIBILITY AT THE VERY LEAST, OF HOW AND WHY . NOT TO BE TAKEN LIGHTLY, AS MILLIONS WATCH , YOU MUST LET THE EGO FADE. YOU ARE THERE TO DEMYSTIFY, AND TEACH MANY OF THE TECHNIQUES, TERMS, AND PROCEDURES. WATCHERS ARE FORMING OPINIONS ABOUT FOOD, OPINIONS THAT YOU HELP CREATE. IT HELPS TO KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT TO PROFFER AN OPINION. GIVE THEM WHAT THEY NEED TO MAKE AN INFORMED OPINION. THERE IS NO EXCUSE, IN TODAY'S MARKETS ONE CAN FIND EVERYTHING NEEDED. SO TEACH THEM HOW TO DEGLAZE, REDUCE, AND FINISH A SAUCE. THEY THIRST FOR AND DRINK FROM THE CUP YOU SET BEFORE THEM.

CULINARY EDUCATION IN ALL FORMS IS SORELY NEEDED. UNTIL FAIRLY RECENTLY WELL ROUNDED, COMPLETE EDIFYING EXPERIENCES HAVE BEEN ONLY FOR US LUCKY ENOUGH TO HAVE ATTENDED SUCH ICONS OF CHEFDOM SUCH AS THE CIA OR IF ALL ELSE FAILS THERE'S ALWAYS JOHNNY WALES. TODAY THERE ARE MORE SCHOOLS THAN EVER, CAPITALIZING ON THIS NEWLY FOUND NEED FOR ALL THINGS CULINARY. FOR THE AVERAGE PERSON DINING AT THE LOCAL HIP, COOL PLACE, FACE A DAUNTING TASK DECIPHERING THE MENU. AH YES THOSE DREADED CULINARY TERMS MISUSED TO AN EXTENT UNHEARD OF IN THE PAST. " A TIAN OF ZUCCHINI, ISN'T A TIAN A PROVENCAL SPECIALTY? SAVORY? NO IT IS A DESSERT, A TART OF SORTS". A COOK ASKS ,REFERENCING THE OTHER RESTAURANT WERE HE WORKS " DO YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN REMOULADE SAUCE AND TAPANADE? YOU KNOW OVER THERE THEY DON'T KNOW THESE THINGS THEIR CHEF IS DUMB" THIS IS THE SAME QUESTION ASKED WHEN THEY DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE AN ITEM, "HOW DO YOU MAKE IT HERE?" THE ANSWER " THE USUAL WAY" THEY MAY NOT OUTWARDLY SEEM THE SAME BUT THEY BOTH CONTAIN THE SAME MESSAGE-- I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL I AM DOING. TRYING TO BE COY DOESN'T WORK. WE CAN SMELL IT, SEE IT, ALMOST TASTE IT. MANY THESE DAYS BELIEVE , BECAUSE THEY HAVE HAD CERTAIN SUCCESSES IN COOKING, THAT THEY ARE A CHEF. BUY AN EMBROIDERED JACKET, COOL BAGGY PANTS, COP AN ATITUDE " HEY EVERYONE LOOK I AM A CHEF!!!" THERE IS AN OLD SICILIAN SAYING " THE ROBE DOSEN'T MAKE THE PRIEST" THIS LEADS ONE TO THINK HE KNOWS WHAT HE IS SPEAKING ABOUT , UNTIL THAT EPIPHANY WHEN THEY REALIZE THEY HAVE BEEN DUPED.DUPED BY THAT PARTICULAR PERSON WHO THEY LOOKED UP TO IN THE PAST AS BEING A CULINARY GOD SEND. CAREFUL MY FRIENDS THIS PROFESSION IS RIFE WITH POSERS.HOPEFULLY EMBARRASSED IN THE REALIZATION THAT THOSE LOOKS WEREN'T OF WOW YOUR SO COOL, BUT WOW ( LIKE LOOKING INTO THE GRAND CANYON WOW) YOU REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, AND I AM IN NEED OF NEW MATERIAL SO I WON'T CORRECT ANYTHING YOU SAY WOW. DUPED BY THE LIKES OF AN OVERWEIGHT, BALD GUY WHO EATS ANYTHING, TELLING YOU THAT SAUCE IS A MINT- LAVENDER CHUTNEY , WHEN IN ACTUALITY ONE CAN PLAINLY SEE IT IS A PESTO. BUT DOESN'T CHUTNEY SOUND SO MUCH COOLER? FRUSTRATING --YES, IRRITATING-- YES BUT ONE NEEDS TO KNOW THAT IN THE HASTE OF MAKING A MENU STAND OUT, DIFFERENT,OR COOL, THEY WILL LEAD PEOPLE DOWN THE WRONG PATH. OR THE FACT THAT THE LAMB CARCASS HE IS ESPOUSING ABOUT BEING "ORGANICALLY RAISED, SLAUGHTERED THIS MORNING" HAS THE CLEARLY SEEN ROLL OF THE USDA DOWN ITS SIDE. NOT TO BE TAKEN THE WRONG WAY MY FRIENDS, ULTIMATELY IT IS THE FOOD THAT MATTERS, IT MUST BE DELICIOUS IN ALL WAYS. A PERFECTLY GRILLED STEAK, BRAISED SHANKS IN RED WINE, WONDERFUL INDIGENOUS SAUSAGES, FRESH BREAD, SEAFOOD RIGHT FROM THE BOAT OLIVE OIL AND LEMON, IT DOESN'T GET ANY BETTER. CALL IT WHAT YOU MAY JUST GIVE ME MORE.